2014-02-25 Hardship vs. Faith

Based on the Bible verses I read tonight, I realized that 'fear' and 'danger' reveals the level of my faith.

According to the book of Samuel, King Saul led the Israel army to assault the Philistines. At that time, the Philistines were very strong and powerful. When the Philistines knew the Israel army coming for them, they prepared chariots, charioteers and soldiers as numerous as sand. Seeing the considerable size of the Philistines army, the Israelites hid under the rocks, behind the trees and even ran away because they were overwhelmed and actually were scared to defeat the powerful Philistine.

If I were one of the Israel soldier, I think that I would do the same thing. Seeing the numerous soldiers and high-tech chariots would be very threatening.

Not only in the war, but also in every little moment in life tests my level of faith. And that is very frustrating because, though it's transitory, I feel that I am losing my own good for keeping my sincerity to Him.

As I grow old, aging and feeling time flying faster and faster, the feeling of fear would not let me be free from it. Rather, it is inevitable. :(
After defeating the fear for interviews for college entrance tests, I thought I was brave enough. Then, numerous interviews were waiting for me ahead like, in everything I want to do such as dance crew, volunteering abroad, internship blah blah blah...
Also, I realized I have fear for relationship as well. Well, significantly, fear is accompanied by love relationship. There I fall again.

In these times, staying faithful is really difficult. And it's getting tougher.
But I see myself coming back to Him no matter what.
First, keeping faith in times of difficulty, meaning praying, reading the Bible, going to the church and especially emptying myself seem.. a bit unhelpful. It seems keeping faith does not solve the problem at this moment. It must be solved in a minute and yet, having time to pray seem silly. However, in the long-term, it always has been the wisest choice to pray amidst difficulty. Emptying myself makes me brave and believing His presence in this awful situation strengthens me whatsoever. After all, I realize that He gives the best out of difficulties.

Second, as my faith grows, I grow stronger. Meaning to say, failure and hardship are always difficult to accept. But because of the level of faith I have nurtured from the past, I can stay calm and feel like, "so, okay. What is He going to do with this?" It becomes easier to accept that such hardship is another door, which I must go through. Well, some difficulties are by-products of my fault or my stupidity, but mostly it's along my life path to get over with such difficulties.  So, as my faith grows, I become more calm and prudent handling hardships.

fear is inevitable. However, in times of fear, it's the shining moment of my faith.

"The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:5

2014.02.10 Mundane Monday

Nowadays, All I think about is focused on my diverse, spontaneous and unpredictable life ahead. Different from days I used to live, medium and long-term plans are keep changing. At first, it was unfamiliar to accept this spontaneity. But now, I find it fun. Changes no longer gives me apprehension but as time goes by, I realize that plans going null are nothing. It happens and it is normal. :) Rather, it makes me the presence of God and it's fun to witness how God intervenes in my life.

Now, I work as an intern at EAI (East Asia Institute), one of the top think-tank in South Korea and competitive think-tank world-wide. Things I do are ... usually minor works but I find fun in bits of works I am given.

And, I am having fun searching about Germany. It is definitely clueless why I am heading to that country but, it's the beauty of not-knowing-my-whole-life. :D (Well, my parents will get upset to the max if I say this way. So I make some white-lies to make my parents get over with infinite anxiety about my life.)

On the other hand, the only thing that I worry about, is, whether I should move my blog again. I really want to blog about my life in Germany-- daily life, information, and even gibberish diary lol. But in order for people to read my blog, I think that I should move to Korean blog for many korean students who are interested in Germany.

Since this is a personal blog, which I did not advertise and ask for subscription, this blog feeels empty and secluded.. haha. Maybe I shall construct my blog in detail in order to make it more interesting, informative and fun to read! and move the blog. lol shall I ? shall I not? *dilemmaaaaa*

2014.1.10 Feeling like a tourist in Seoul

"Visiting Street Jongro-3 for the First Time"

 

First time in my life, I visited Street Jongro-3. Because it's along the subway line #3, I am already very familiar with the name of the station. However, I have never been to the place until this day! Jonro-3 Street is totally different from places I usually go. Usually, there are franchise stores like Twosome Place, Starbucks, Coffee Bean, OliveYoung and etc. So, I expected those shops to be along the sidewalk. However, but, there were stores quite different. Mostly, there were jewelry shops. Not like Tiffany&Co, or Lloyd, but brandless and traditional  jewelry shops. There were also a lot of shops for hearing aid. I felt like,

"Where am I?"

"Ummmm..."

"Wow, I feel like I traveled in time to 90s."

"So many old grandmas and grandpas..."

Yes. I saw sooo many old people wandering on the street or even saw old couples walking along the street. I felt really weird.

The buildings were really old. there were only as high as fifth floor and the paintings are outdated, tiles on the walls are peeled. Well, to be honest, the views were not as aesthetically attractive or something. But, aside from that, I felt that this place had many memories of people mid 40-50s. It's not as modernized and clean as places like Kangnam, Yangje or Sinsa. However, Street Jongro-3 somewhat maintains memories of South Korea's past.

So, when Dayoung arrived, we both went to Gwang-Jang Market to eat Yukhoe, Korean-style raw beef. I heard that there is a popular street only for Yukhoe. So, I was excited to really visit this place.

Tadaa! strings of darkish red meat are Yukhoe. This place tasted really really good. It could have been sweeter and saltier. But it was more like well balanced and yet not blend. We also ate bibimbap with Yukhoe. Both taste AMAZING. I loved it. The taste of Yukhoe remained on my tastebuds. So delicious. I miss it already. :( Hope that foreigners taste Yukhoe without any strange and disgusted look because seriously, they are DELICiOUS!